I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Boobs speak an international language.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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