taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
