how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
