I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
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