god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
