It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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