Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Randomize
