Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
