we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
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