Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
