She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
I cockslap morals
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
