You just made me feel so damn special
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Randomize
