Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
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