You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Randomize
