So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
