i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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