I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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