she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
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