her vagine was all disorganized.
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
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