like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Randomize
