3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
