barbara walters just said penis...
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Randomize
