We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize
