she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Randomize
