honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Randomize
