her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
im having a threesome with these popsicles
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize