We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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