Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
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