SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
