Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Randomize
