Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
