I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Randomize
