is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
