Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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