Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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