wat bout pragnant strippers??
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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