I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Im part way to drunk.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
