yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize