He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
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