My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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