If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
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