Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
