It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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