Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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