Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize
