I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Randomize