It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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