Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Randomize
