yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
