ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
