Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
