Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
My Higher Power is John Stamos
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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