I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
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