My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
I'm passing your future prison.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Randomize
