normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Randomize
