Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Randomize
