Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
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