Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Randomize
