You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
Randomize
