I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
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