Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
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