Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
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