worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Randomize
