Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
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