i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
