I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Randomize
