you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
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