YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Randomize